Nomad’s Log Day 3
Hi! Welcome to Nomad’s Log where I write weekly or daily, concise blog posts about my life, which are usually grammatically flawed.
“Regardless of what you lose or the challenges you face, you will never lose your power to make decisions” ―
This has been the toughest season of my life, thus far. I’ve lost friends, my pursuit for my Masters Degree was put on hold by a discriminatory counselor, my love life is totally dry (but that is nothing new), my mental health is the poorest it has ever been, and my finances are more shoddy than swiss cheese has holes. But one of the bigger lessons I am learning as we speak in this season is…I have the power to choose.
The power of choice is powerful and it is not until recently that I am realizing how my choices have positively and negatively been affecting my life. Moving forward, I want my choices for now on to increase my receptivity to God’s work in me and to trust Him even when I am in pain and hurting.
God has truly given us the freedom of choice. Our choices do not negate the emotions we feel and will never eliminate God’s complete and total control over our life. However, choice is the steering wheel for our will. When I make a decision, my spirit shall feel the consequences of those actions. For example, I am choosing to not be afraid tomorrow. I am choosing to trust God completely. I am choosing to trust God to help me be a strong and effective teacher as I refuse to give into fear or self pity. The feelings I am feeling is anxiousness and fear but guess what I choose in the name of Jesus to not let my emotions drive my airplane anyone. Yes, life hurts, but my emotions come behind faith and that is where they need to be for now on.
I don’t want to be a victim of my emotions anymore. I am already a highly sensitive person. I am always overthinking, always analyzing novels, film, scripts, people’s actions and motives. No more, I want to live and be mindful in the present, even though this abandonment to only trusting God seem dangerous, it is the safest place for me to be.
Furthermore, the Holy Spirit is showing me other choices I can make to better my situation while I am awaiting for the salvation of the Lord.
- I padded my resume. I confirmed great references for my resume.
- I edited and revised my cover letter.
- I contacted a possible psychiatrist.
- I have been blogging more and more.
- I am continuously looking for a new job in new schools.
- I am cutting out the costs of things I do not need.
- (Ongoing) I am praying and studying God’s Word and learning to accept what is in the hands of God are the doors He will open and if He chooses to keep me here, then He will continue to transform my heart and the hearts of the students and staff.
Remember my friends, there are elements in your situation you can control and change and influence and then there are components only God can fix or change and you have to trust He is working all things together for your good. A suggestion is to pray the serenity prayer:
Pray the serenity prayer, Beloved and trust the wisdom from heaven to help you decipher between what you surrender to God’s hands and how depending on the Holy Spirit can help you make the correct decisions leading to wonderful changes.
I will not lie to you, my friends. I want out of this situation, truly and desperately. At the same time, I want miracles and hope for the people suffering like me, and the good news is all seasons are temporary. As the long, cold winter turns into spring, so will our darkness become dawn and as midday reaches to the heat of the moment, so will our bright days turn back to night.
So, children of God do not place your trust in things or hope sweeter and easier times will be your saving grace, for all blessings are leases. Status, money, power, and reputation hold as much staying power as the harshest powers of life like grief, loss, anger etc. This is why we hold fast, we hold tight, we cling to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He is our Eternal Rock. Because one day, we will arrive at our true and permanent destination in heaven, a place absent of suffering, sin, depression, despair etc.
So on days, where you cannot see the growth, glory and beauty in your pain, look upwards. Make the choice to hold unto God’s faithfulness, to hug the promise of heaven to your heart.
This is our hope. This is our inspiration. This is the glowing light we already have and do not have to earn for we freely CHOSE the gift of eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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